Marriage Takes Practice

My marriage is not perfect, it is a work in progress, an elaborate masterpiece in the making. A successful family only comes from the fountains of a successful marriage. So, because I am seeking to better something of great importance to me, I will share what I have found with you.

When we want to be successful at something in life, we usually don't attempt to "see how it goes." That's why those who want to play the piano take lessons. No one can sit down at a piano for the first time and play Mozart or Beethoven. Sure, most anyone can peck on the keys long enough to figure out "Chop Sticks" or "Mary Had a Little Lamb," but that's not musical success.

An instructor will teach what keys produce certain musical notes, what techniques to use to access those keys and how to determine musical notes from written symbols in order to play pieces of music.

Once we've received basic education and training, it is up to us to practice and develop what we we've learned. After years of practicing, one can become adequate at making music with a piano. Clearly, masterpieces cannot be musically interpreted into success by a beginner.

Yet we often assume that success in marriage will come without any instruction or practice. Many times, we rely on some mysterious shared chemistry or compatibility and then when things don't run smoothly, we assume that individual differences are to blame. In the sad cases, divorce lawyers entitle them, "irreconcilable differences."

Usually those struggling in marriage don't question their techniques or decide they are going to start practicing with a resource or a professional. Unmarried couples usually don't seek to learn correct fundamentals and techniques to practice in their future marriage. Because of this, many people are setting themselves up for failure.  According to studies 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Here are the current details and distributions, just look below:

Age at marriage for those who divorce in America

Age	Women	Men
Under 20 years old	27.6%	11.7%
20 to 24 years old	36.6%	38.8%
25 to 29 years old	16.4%	22.3%
30 to 34 years old	8.5%	11.6%
35 to 39 years old	5.1%	6.5%

The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage
50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end indivorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri. - from http://www.divorcerate.org/

Marriage is hard work, but it is well worth it. If your marriage is in crisis, I suggest you seek professional help, to really put forth an effort and get a professional, unbiased view that will help pin-point the real issue(s). If your marriage is not in crisis but you fear it could fall into crisis, I've found the following three points could offer some help in keeping your marriage from reaching a point distress. I am no professional and I'm included in working on always bettering my own marriage.  If your marriage is strong, the following could help you keep it that way.

Things to remember and practice:

1. Marriage is a team sport.  Most friends or relatives of married people often hear only one side of the story. The side they hear is usually one spouse blaming the other for all the problems within their marriage. "If only he'd _________." "If she wouldn't ________." It is never completely one-sided. Sure, one spouse might share more of the guilt in hurting a marriage, like in cases of infidelity or addictions, but it is nearly impossible for one spouse to deserve all the blame. Accept responsibility. Don't expect your spouse to do all the work in your relationship. Each marriage partner has enough to work on personally without attempting to change or manipulate his or her spouse. Be a team player in your marriage and your spouse will likely do the same. To see a big change, you must be part of it.

2. Become your spouse's dream (it's deeper than physical). When you were young, it's likely you had ideas and dreams of your relationship with your future spouse. Your spouse did as well.

Perhaps one of the greatest mistakes people make in marriage relationships is to stop the courtship process. You remember that time in your life don't you? When you were polite, kind, supportive, selfless, thoughtful, attentive, forthcoming and sensitive to your spouse? You made yourself into that dream. You learned what bothered, scared or hurt and you avoided those things. You found out what was important to him/her and you made it important to you even if it wasn't before. Do it again! People don't give up on the spouse of their dreams. You'll likely find that your spouse will do the same for you.

3. Tell other people good things about your spouse. In front of him or even when he's not there (the same goes for husbands about wives). If you focus on the positives in your spouse, you will find that he/she not only does more of those positive things but also adds new positives to the list. Thank him for cutting the grass or taking out the trash. Thank her for a delicious meal and tell others that she's a great cook. Be sure to compliment him on his strong arms or intelligence in front of your friends. Tell her how beautiful you think she is. Tell him he's handsome. Not only will your spouse appreciate the compliment, but you'll find it easier to treat your spouse as you should because you will be programming yourself to respect and appreciate him or her...remember that it's about practice, just like playing the piano.

Marriage takes practice and work, but the rewards are for a lifetime. Remember that great marriages don't happen over night just as troubled marriages usually don't become disturbed in a few days. Start on the path to being a team player in your marriage and don't look back.

LoVe is in the AiR!

My birthday just passed this weekend and it was quite a nice day!

Well, since then, I've been in a good mood...i don;t know, I guess it has to do with the fact that everyone treats you a bit nicer? Mmmmh, yup!

My son has also recently become a big Star Wars fan, calling it "Staa Woo!" and even making lightsaber sound effects and it's super CUTE!

Now, since I've been in a better mood, I feel all lovey-dubby and stuff so here is a video i saw as I opened my internet browser this morning...very adorable and it keeps making me cry everytime I see it!

ENJOY! DISFRUTEN!



May all of you be able to share this with your special loved one.  Remember that a family essentially consists in the true happiness between wife and husband to truly have a positive atmosphere wherever you go.  It's never about spoiling your kids, buying the latest electronics or gadgets, and definitely not about focusing on money.  Sure, stress from bills and debt can supress you, but your spouse is there...you're not alone any more and you're also there for them. I think that's the best part of being married.

We sometimes forget also that we as parents aren't just providers and figures of discipline, but before everything, we are examples.

I'm not going to tell you I have a perfect marriage, but I can tell you with all my heart that I love my husband with every fiber in my body and that I try everyday to make our marriage worth something for me and for our own future while building our family.  My expressions of love, on a daily basis, are very simple: I wake up as he gets ready for work and iron his clothes and his tie, sometimes I put notes in his pockets or lunch bag so he can find them at work. Everyday, I call him while he's away, just to tell him I love him and he always says, "awww!" even though he's heard it hundreds of times already.

Everything too good to be true is attainable, the catch lies in YOU keeping your part.  For more ideas and advice for your home, check out Happiness in Family Life from lds.org.

Now, I gotta get back to working on some wedding  and family pictures...ciao!

My Needed Detox and Cleanse

So, I've been gaining some weight recently.  I know I don't eat wrong, like junk food or fast food, and I cook everything I eat, but...I'm very stressed.  Stress is our bodies enemy because it releases toxins into your bloodstream, as does anger and fear.  I've gotten married and I just worry about everyone else over me...but I love lovin'.

Anyway, I don't get panic attacks, but I do worry a lot.   Lately, it's  money.  I don't mind saying it because everyone worries about it, a lot.  Ever since I stopped "working" I've stepped back from that control panel and my hubby has made some regrettable decisions, but he fixes them if possible.  He's learning, and I just have to let him learn about how money management is also a partnership, whether or not I get a payroll.  I'm kind of a control-freak too and I love to make plans. Plans make the world go 'round, in a very organized way.  I also have an IUD as my contraceptive.  Unfortunately (we are all adults here) this makes me have a super heavy menstrual.  I need a Tampax and Maxi change every 2-3 hours for 5 days straight.  No light days.  Im' regular though.  So, I inevitably developed anemia.  Another thing, Andrew is super active and I've had to channel some of his brain's activity to reading and learning since he was a year, but he's a never-ending human circus.  He's been like that since he could walk.  Many are impressed he's not in his terrible twos yet.  I love him though!  Then, there's a Guatemala vacation my husband wants to take with his family, which means more money, and we have to take our baby too because his family says he needs to experience it.  I know he won't remember a single thing though, but I gotta go with the flow and enjoy the ride fully to avoid any unnecessary stress.  It seems I'm almost venting, but I'm not.  I use music and art for that, and recently running too.

So, what am I gonna do to remedy at least partial of the stress and get rid of toxin loads?  A cleansing of course and detoxification!  I used to do this all the time before I married and maintained my weight at a healthy 123-125lbs.  I'm no doctor, but my dad is a self-taught nutritionist and while he was reading and testing things for himself, I followed/read along since I was a female and so we compared differences in results after trying our individual experiences.  My mom was always so busy and I was at a peak of wanting to know more...I guess I still am, haha.  Well, after I was married I became pregnant and ended at 179lbs right before my baby was born a little earlier than expected, but healthy.  Now, I weight 132lbs.  You gotta realize I have big cheeks and a round face, so my weight can be seen instantly.  I am also very short, 5'2. Don't get me wrong, I love my body and myself, but I know when my body needs to start getting in gear again from the inside.

I love cleansing my body and going through a detox because it rejuvenates me and maintains my weight without sacrifices.  Of course, I don't eat much junk food anyway or fast food, but I can get away with eating almost anything I actually like.  The reason I used to maintain my weight was because I cleansed my body  every 3 months or so.  Our bodies are like cars, you need to tune them up and make sure things run good from the inside.  Otherwise, that's how you start to get problems and buildup of toxins your body can't tolerate and we are such beautiful creations that it's a waste to be careless of our organs. Symptoms that you may be accumulating toxins at a rate higher than your body can process include fatigue, irritability, skin problems, digestive issues, aches and pains, stress, and even other behavioral problems.

Now, I've written very much and it's time to tell you the specifics of cleansing and detox so you can get a "tune up" if you wan to try.   I'm no doctor and you need to know your body well before committing to these methods of naturally cleansing.  I'm currently on my 3rd day of Pineapple and Chlorophyll juice.

Pineapple and Chlorophyll Cleanse/Detox
PURPOSE: Kicks your metabolism into high gear naturally from the pineapple, and chlorophyll acts as super nutrients and supports your intestinal and circulatory health, so your body gets a vacation from eating bad fats, but still gets all it needs.
EXTRAS:  Lose up to 10lbs along the process. My dad and I tried it at the same time and he lost almost 12lbs, while I lost 10lbs.  The juice is really tasty too!
WHAT YOU NEED:  Natural pineapple juice (no sugars or concentrate)and lots of it, 32oz Liquid Chlorophyll from Nature's Sunshine (it's the best/purest we've tried without "adding" more unnecessary ingredients), Spirulina tablets.
WHAT TO DO:  During 7 days, all you consume is pineapple juice with the Chlorophyll in it.  Nothing else.  I combine both in a clean, empty gallon and put it in the fridge and keep refilling until the 7 days are up.  For every 8oz of juice, add a teaspoon of chlorophyll.  If I go out, I carry my bottle with this mixture inside.  Take a Spirulina tablet in the morning and again at night, varying to how much meat you're used to consuming.  So the more meat you eat, then up the ratio, read the label too.
NOTE:  The first 2 days are always the hardest, mentally.  Realize that you need to fully commit to get through it. 


Raw Foods Diet Cleanse/Detox
PURPOSE:  This really sets your whole digestive system in good, clean shape.  Your body will get a rest from toxins and soon after you end you will immediately see what foods your body does not take well or what effects they bring if you do consume them.  Even the apple of your cheeks become naturally flushed!
EXTRAS:  Lose up to 10lbs if you do the 10-day liquids.  I lost 8lbs and my father lost about 10 with this too.  Your taste buds will also become very sensible afterwards and tastes of cooked foods can be powerful and some very sour.
WHAT YOU NEED:  Raw foods and a blender. Distilled water.  If you are deficient in anything else, please, take the necessary supplements.  Raw foods are all fresh foods like vegetables and fruits.  Nothing cooked or with preservatives, nor grains or meats.  Lemon or limes to help with digestion, cleansing, flavoring, and purifying.  Other than fresh produce, you can consume raw oatmeal, EVOO (first cold pressed), sea salt, natural honey and soy milk(minimally).  No nuts.
WHAT TO DO:  Start by eating only raw foods for 2 whole days.  On the third day, you will start with liquids counting as your first day of liquid raw foods, so you need to blend everything and make smoothies. Get creative and explore how satisfying this can be.  Here, you let your digestive system not do any work as far as breaking down your foods goes and so your body will naturally focus on other parts that have been needing some work or attention.  Amazing, huh?  There are three options while on the liquid part which are 3, 5, or 10 total days of liquids.  The longer you go, the more you clean, but 10 days is very cleansing and should be done about twice a year only.  While on the liquid phase, you cannot chew gum or stimulate your mouth to produce saliva in any way.  This will set your digestion into gear and defeats the purpose of letting it rest to detox.  If you do, drink water immediately.  Finally, after your liquid phase, end with another 2 days of eating raw foods and continue eating as normal afterwards.
NOTE:  Try eating rich fruits that will help still bring in Omega3 and other good fatty acids still in your system, like avocado.  Also, consume your smoothies fresh, do not store for more than 2 hours at a time.  Also, if you cheat(meaning even a bite of that nasty hamburger), then you must start from day 1, meaning eating raw foods.  It's not that hard, but we mentally make it a battle.

Well, I hope this inspires someone to detox or cleanse.  Get to know your bodies and find out why you have certain triggers or problems.  If anything is changing that's not normal, then try a cleanse and see if it gets rid of it.  Sometimes it takes 2 weeks up to a month for your body to get rid of something bad in the system.  Otherwise, see a doctor and tell them what you really are experiencing that is bothersome.  Whether you decide to see a doctor or cleanse, do it now.  Don't wait for things to get worse or decide to live with it because it will only result in something bad in the long run that could have been prevented.

Personal Improvement

I found these out by reading scriptures the night before and then again in a dream and woke up and told Hugo about them. Of course, after much pondering I noticed I have personally experimented on these myself in the past and have proven to never fail:



1. Optimism: You gotta think the right way to head in the right direction.

2. Acceptance of flaws: If you don't know what's wrong with you, you'll never be humble enough to fix it.

3. Replacing old habits with better ones: Very essential because in this way you won't feel like you're losing out or taking away something from your life, instead your filling gaps with something good. It's like plumbing: All the tubes are already in place, but if there's rusty ones take them out and put new ones in so that everything flows more smoothly.

4. Patience: Either with the outcome or if there's people involved, patience will reap results in the end in it's own due time.


Of course, the outcome follows immediately or may take a very long time depending on what the improvement needs to be. Well, that's it. It's nothing written on stone, nor anything I've specifically read, but I like it. I know it helps me out at least. That's what matters.